Where are we now?

A lot has happened since my last blog. Terrorist atrocities, social division and political unrest.  For more on all of that, read the news but basically the world continues to be a pretty sad place. In short, "Nothing has changed." (Copyright Theresa May in a wonderfully woeful 2017 election campaign.) And in keeping with this theme of continuity this blog will remain focused on only one subject: me!

I have changed. I am now a hard-working, young professional. A more immature version of myself could probably find a joke to make about a Tory female prime minister and a hung parliament. Probably something about Theresa May hanging to the right. But no longer: if all you want is satire and innuendo then you're more lost than Diane Abbott at the Bank of England.

I started work about six weeks ago and I'm loving it. More so the social interaction and sense of purpose than the actual work but following the last few years I'll take enjoyment in whatever form it presents itself. The job itself is pretty simple; you could probably train a monkey to do it. And worryingly, the monkey would be more productive than myself on account of it being able to use a computer properly and having a better concentration span. Could the monkey be a source of energetic positivity within the team though? Probably but it's illegal anyway so they'll have to make do with me. The team is mint though; they like a laugh, like a drink and a few of them even like me! I've been out with them a couple of times and they've cottoned on to the fact that I'm a terrible drinker and I fall over a lot.

Away from work I've been a lot less tired than I thought I might be. Jimbo, my supervisor at work and potential life partner, would probably say that's because I don't work very hard but I assure you that is fake news. I still swim every morning before work and I go on my bike for a very short while after work. I get out and about on a weekend to see people and today is my first holiday because I am off to get some tattoos. My mam got another dog; he's called Alfie, is a cock-a-poo and I can only assume he is a coke addict because he does everything at about 200 mph. Ooh and I've discovered a love of smoothies! Whoever says almond milk, spinach and peanut butter doesn't go together is an idiot.

Finally, I'd like to say a huge congratulations to Katherine who has graduated with a first class honours degree in photography. I was of course the subject of her end of year project but I won't take all the credit; she probably worked pretty hard throughout the preceding two and a half years of her degree and after all she did have to take the photos of me looking amazing because as I've said before I think selfies are pretty tragic. (Even if I do occasionally take them when drunk. And girls often do look very pretty in selfies. Okay, selfies are alright but obviously I'm not a girl and I wasn't drunk for most of the photos.)