Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Love On Top

If there're two things this blog has been missing it's content worth reading and a title reference to a Beyoncé song. Well good news! This blog post resolves one (and only one) of those issues.

The idea for this post came from The Guardian's Q&A feature in which they ask people of fame a random set of questions. I like to think of my own answers to said questions, sure in the knowledge I will be asked one day but until then I thought I'd give you all an early preview.


When were you happiest?
Thus far in life happiness for me has always been in the moment rather than an extended period of contentedness. Which moments have I've been happiest? Waking up next to somebody. (All the better when it's a girl, they invariably smell better than any of my mates.) 

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
It used to be trepidation. Growing up I was quite shy. I became much more confident at uni and over the last 18 months or so I've come to realise that actually I'm class. Now, it's obsessiveness. I fall into routine and find it difficult to make changes.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Rudeness. The worst thing anybody could say to me is that they think I am rude. Smiles and manners are so easy yet they make such a difference.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My eyebrows. I've not got a unibrow but the odd hair does pop up in between them. One good (though sadly short lasting) result of my chemotherapy is that my eyebrows thinned right out, I looked fantastic! 

What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A father. The only thing I have ever really wanted is to have a family. And it still is.

What is top of your bucket list?
To see Coldplay live. Their music reminds me of so many different times in my life, happy and sad. My latest tattoo incorporates artwork from two of their singles. (Tattoos are a great example of my obsessiveness. I went 25 years without getting one and now I've had two within a month and I am getting a couple more in December.)

When did you last cry and why?
Last week. I get frustrated, disheartened and scared about my MS and what the consequences are going to be.

What was your most embarrassing moment? 
Someone on the bus once threw a yoghurt on me. I cried. I was like 14! How didn't I get bullied? Fat, academically clever and evidently not the most thick-skinned of youngsters. Clearly I must have always been Mr Nice.

Property aside, what is the most expensive thing you've brought? 
My road bike. It cost £1600. It's now sat on an indoor training stand in the conservatory. I use it every day for five minutes at a time but it makes me sad every time I look at it. It reminds me of what I once had, of what I once was. I think about travelling to and from work on it, about setting out on a Sunday morning in the summer with no destination in mind and about the journeys I one day hope to make again.

Is it better to give or receive? 
(Always to give but better when she's on top.) 
I prefer to give. And I like it most when I am donating to charity or giving a gift out of the thanks, rather than because that's the done thing. (Christmas etc.)

What do you owe your parents?
Nothing, and everything. Nothing because they love me and I love them and you cannot be indebted in love. They would do anything for me and demand nothing in return. Everything because they have made me the person I am. I define myself by my morals and my personal qualities and neither would be what they are without my parents. 
(Oh, and I nicked 10p from my dad's tin for the bus the other day.)

What keeps you awake at night?
Not much, I sleep pretty well. If you (or indeed I, after all I am both interviewee and interviewer) mean what concerns me then it is the health and happiness of my family, friends and myself. And the abundance of cruelty and lack of compassion in the world.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Appreciate it, never take life for granted. We are more fortunate than most and for no good reason, so enjoy life and strive to make the world that little bit better every day.

How would you like to be remembered?
As being happy, because I know I will only be completely happy if my life is centred around the things that mean the most to me: family, friends and kindness.


That might have been a dull read but I don't care, it was extremely cathartic. I would recommend anyone does the same thing, it puts life into perspective a little and helps you to see what is important to you and what you need in your life to be happy. (And clearly in my case that is a girl who makes the most of life, wants children and doesn't mind going on top.)

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