Hold it in, now let's go dancing. I do believe we're only passing through.

A lyric from Time Is Dancing by Ben Howard. I take it to mean this life is not all there is and instead of complaining about problems we face, it's better to appreciate and enjoy life. That's much easier said than done but it is I think a good mantra to live by. Seeing the good in bad makes for a much nicer world. I was in a taxi in Manchester the other week and the driver was commenting on how it always rains. He then said that's why England is so beautiful, with all the green fields and hills. I thought that was a nice way of looking at things. (Although I don't necessarily agree. Deserts can be beautiful too I'm sure. And dry. And sunny.)

This outlook got me to thinking about the good things that have come from my MS. I don't know  if any of these positives have been  worth it. They are silver linings and I hate clouds. I hope once I'm fixed I'll feel differently. Anyway, there was nothing wrong with me as a constantly running addicted, mostly teetotal and occasionally surly twenty something year old!

The first of these positives I think will surprise those who have only known me with MS. (Big up the Fausto massive. (I'm really gangsta' and kind of a big deal by the way so I'm allowed to big people up. Big up all my brethren in fact.)) Anyway, despite that previous sentence, my chat is better. Yes, it used to be worse! My best mate has always likened me to Jack Dee down to my dry, deadpan and sarcastic sense of humour. I'm a satirist by nature and I certainly haven't lost that but I've become a little more upbeat. I've recognised it's nice for people not to think I'm a misery because I'm not! I'm a lot like the old me but sillier. Me dressed as a clown if you will.

Next, I now know how amazing my friends are and how much they mean to me. In my first few months with MS I missed the stag do and wedding of my best mate growing up (John). I wrote him a letter explaining why but in short it was because I was unhappy. I've lived to regret that decision because over the last two years I have realised how important friends are and that it is they who make me happy.

Last Easter Danny, Matt and Will did the three peaks challenge in 24 hours for an MS charity. Last summer Cathal (Pronounced Carl or Cattle in an Irish accent. He also responds to Dr Heavey. He calls the toilets the jacks, silly Cathal.) cycled all around Ireland for an MS charity and spoke to people every night about what the disease can do, to raise awareness. (These conversations were in the pub and he's Irish so he was always going to talk to total strangers about something, it might as well have been MS!)

Even going on a night out I am reminded how good they are. Last month I went to Manchester for Will's birthday. It was the best night out I've had in the last two years. For everyone else it was probably a run-of-the-mill night. (Probably wasn't even that for Will. He threw up outside a club, not even sure you made midnight mate!) Having MS isn't fun at all and I don't go out nearly as much as most 24 year olds. (Probably still more than you mind Chapman if you're reading!) For the lads to do simple things like walking at a snail's pace between bars and jumping in a taxi with me means so much more than they realise. 

The final one is Bamboleo. He's a chocolate brown Labra-doodle and he's a bit stupid. I think of Bamboleo as my brother. We play together, we tease each other and we annoy each other but most of all we love each other. It's nice to have someone there when I fall, smash something in the kitchen or I'm just a bit fed up. I was going to make a disparaging comment here, comparing Bam to my other sibling but I've just read a lovely card from Hannah wishing me the best luck with my treatment and it is for that reason I will not mention that Bamboleo smells better. (Love you sis!) (The card had some tits and an ass on them. The tits were the udders of a cow and the ass was a donkey.)

So a better me, with better friends than I knew I had and a brilliant, if a little bonkers, dog. Maybe it has been worth it? My treatment starts next week and by the end of April I'll hopefully be in a much better physical condition and able to really get my life started again.

Wow, this one has been a bit emotional. A quick shout out to Ben because he hasn't had a mention and I know he doesn't like to miss out. Hi Ben. I'll leave you all with a joke. I tried to catch some fog yesterday. Mist.